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Wildcat Files 2
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The Wildcat Files 2 (Arsenal Computer).ISO
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blond.bbs
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1994-04-02
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5KB
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160 lines
Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diaper once a month?
A: Because it says right on the box - "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Put a mirror in the bottom of a pool.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilized!
Q: Why should you never take a blond out for coffee?
A: It's too hard to retrain them.
Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: "I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N. . . . hum, oh well. . .
I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea, yea, yea....
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence!
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in a Handicapped Zone!
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ears.
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (while rocking head from side to side) I dunno!
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in her shoulder pads.
Q: Why don't blondes eat jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those
little packets.
Q: Why do blonds wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why do blonds wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
Q: What's the mating call of a blonde?
A: I'm sooooooo drunk!
Q: What's the mating call of a brunette?
A: Have all the blondes left?
Q: Why do blondes like the GST?
A: Because they can spell it.
Q: Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q: What do you say to a blonde who won't give in?
A: Have another beer.
Q: What do you call a brunette with a blond on either side?
A: An interpreter.
Q: What do you call a blond with a brunette on either side?
A: A language barrier.
Q: What's the first thing a blond does in the morning?
A1: Introduce herself.
A2: Go home.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: Opens the car door.
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
A: Thanks for the refill.
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: Because they don't know any better.
Q: How do you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's whiteout all over the screen.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch the information into a computer once.
Q: What do a blond and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they
go down on you.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because you wash vegetables there.
Q: The dumb blonde - Why?
A: Because there's no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy,
or a smart blonde.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: What is the mating call of an ugly blonde?
A: (screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put thumb tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: How many blonds does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A: Five, one to make the batter and four to peel the smarties.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw
puzzle in only six months?
A: Because it said right on the box - "from 2-4 years."
Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
Q: How does a blond interpret 6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
Q: What do you call 15 blondes standing in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
Q: Why did the blonde go half-way to Norway, turn around and come
home again?
A: It took her that long to realise that a 14" Viking was a
television.
Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.
Q: Why do blonds always die before help arrives?
A: When dialling 911, they can't find the 11(eleven).
Q: What important question does a blonde ask her mate?
A: Do you want this by the hour, or a flat rate?
Q: What do you call a ski slope covered in blondes?
A: Frosted flakes.
Q: What did the blonde say when she opened a box of cheerios?
A: Oh look, a box of donut seeds!
A brunette and a blonde were walking along a street. The brunette
exclaims suddenly, "Oh look, a dead birdie!" The blonde stops,
looks up and says "where?"
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong
way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you're going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the
people are leaving.